Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear when will I learn not to make the same mistakes again and again and again and AGAIN,….
I always seem to fall into the same pattern, not being able to find a different path and get out of that unhealthy routine that just eats me up inside. I seem to love to complicate my life more than it already is… I´m ok and the suddenly I´m not… it´s kind of boring and unpredictable…
That kind of insecurity and instability that just takes over me and I´m not able to control. I become a slave to my own craziness and my own thoughts.
I know that everything that surrounds me is good, I live in a cool city, I have a great job, great friends, good people close to me that love me and care for me, a wonderful family and still … there is that little thing that makes me think I´m not good enough and I don´t deserve all I have. So I doubt if it really all is as good as I think and then I´m afraid someone realizes I don´t deserve all I have and it´s taken away from me…
So now the big question… How do you change that state of mind?
I mean, don´t get me wrong, is not like I live constantly in that state of mind but I have my bad days and my bad moments were that state of mind seems to dominate. And even if the moments are short and afterwards I´m ok, they are quite intense and I really can have five minutes of pure hell, were I just want to run away… Now all I want is to be able to learn to know how to react and take action when such a moment comes and be able to live with it or learn to handle it.
It´s not an easy process and I know I will have to work hard and ask for support and patience from the people that love me, but hey I´m stronger than I might seem, I have lived quite a lot and I´m not giving up….
So really all I can say is: I´m work in progress so please handle with care.
What do you do when you know you are the cause of someone else’s pain? What are you suppose to do then?
You know how to make that pain go away but you also know that if you try and help you are going to be the one that suffers, so it back fires at the end.
Does that make you a bad and selfish person? Or is it ok to put your well being before others? Who is the bad person and who is the victim? Is there even such a division or are we both bad and victim?
Complicated… like most things in life are… who is wrong? Who has the power to decide? Who can judge what you are supposed to do? Does it even make sense to try and find an answer?
Thing is, it´s a horrible feeling to know someone is going throw a hard time because of you, no matter if at some point it was the other way round and they didn´t do much to change it till it was too late. I still don´t want to be the cause of someone else’s suffering, even less when you still care but I know that I can´t do much about it without damaging my own well being.
So really, the only solution left is to let time heal everything. There is nothing time can´t make better.
It´s about time to stop saying I’m so busy I can´t find a moment to write on my blog. I was soooo good at keeping it up to date when I first started it but then I started being lazy and now it´s been ages since I last wrote and so much has happened.
I have missed it!
Last up date was for my brother’s birthday in September, it really has been too long since I last wrote.
So here I go.
In the past six months I turned from being a student and a “teenager” to officially being hired and becoming a “grown up” with a real job. No more pretending to be an adult but still have the excuse that you are young and reckless. Now I have started to realize what it means to have real responsibilities. It´s freaking SCARY at times. When did it all happen? When did my status change from student to worker?! No one asked me if I was ready!!!!!
But I love my job. It´s very fun and I have learned sooooo much and there is still sooooo much to learn, no day is the same to another, I love the variety.
I work at an event-planning agency. It´s called: The Cow Company. I love the name, it´s so random and cool. I started doing my internship with them at the end of September and as from the 1st of January I was hired as officially part of the team.
Our office is a house and the atmosphere is really relaxed and cool, everyone is young and out going. People have been really kind with me, help me out and teached me a lot. I really like the team that works at The Cow, it´s always fun to be at the office.
Other update: my brother moved to Chile in November and we moved in together to our apartment. I really like my new apartment, I had the chance to decorate it how I like, I was lucky my mum came over and helped me out a lot. She is an expert at decorating and buying furniture. Living with Michy has been great; we never had any real problems. He is very calm and would ignore my childish tantrums, I most say he has matured since we used to live on Mallorca, he still has a long way to go but he definitely isn´t a little boy anymore. I am proud of my little brother, he is a fine young man. The sad bit is that he has decided to leave Chile mid March and finish his internship in Egypt. We haven´t had the chance to spend as much time together as we would have liked with his weird working hours and my crazy working hours we don´t find a lot of time to spend together. But I´m still very happy I had the chance to have him over and he knows he is welcome back when he wants, mi casa es su casa.
My parents came over too! That was absolutely amazing!!!!! I loved having them over and showing them where I live, where I work, who my friends are, how my life has changed and how I live my daily life here in Santiago. I am proud of what I have made for my self here and the person I have become since I live here so it´s great to be able to share it with the people I love and feel they are genuinely happy for me and they approve of my life style, it´s a very filling feeling and calming too.
Obviously not everything has been perfect these six months. I had my ups and downs but over all I’m still happy living in Chile and it´s the place I want to be for a while. I feel I´m building my life here so I would say that for now I´m staying here indefinitely. No ticket back to Europe to live any time soon. So if anyone wants to see then they will just have to come over to the other side of the world to say HI, you are more than welcome :)!
Holidays are great, visiting friends and family is always wonderful but after a while I don’t seem to be able to shake off the feeling of being overwhelmed because I don’t have not a place to call mine and be able to be alone and relax for a little while.
I miss that little space that is just for me, that hour or afternoon of staying in bed and watching series, but my bed not my grandma’s or my friends.
MY apartment, MY bed, MY space but the worst bit is I DON’T EVEN HAVE AN APARTMENT TO CALL MINE AT THE MOMENT.
I don’t know it’s like I feel like I have to be at all times and during the whole day with a smile on my face and be up to everything that is offered or planed, but even if I know I’m only here for a bit and I have to make the most of it there are moments were I really don’t feel like doing anything. It makes me feel guilty but at the same time if I don’t get that Mimi time I’m moody, frustrated and tired.
I got that feeling a bit during my Christmas holidays just that it died away when I got to Egypt because there I did have my own room and my parents pretty much let me do what ever I wanted. They worked most of the day so I could plan and do what I wished when I wanted and as selfish as it might sound I need some alone time from the world. It’s kind of ridiculous I know because when I’m in Chile I complain I miss home, I miss my family, I miss my friends and I feel alone but being surrounded by people 24/7 isn’t ideal either. A balance, a bit of both is the best thing but you don’t always get that.
Now that I fly back to Chile I have to look for another apartment so in the time being I won’t have MY space either and sincerely being one month and a half with no room to call your own, living out of you luggage and having to pack every week or so is not always easy no matter how cool it is to be in a new place and visiting all the people you love.
But hey I know I’m having a bit of a low moment and that’s it, in a while I will be up and active once again ;) just needed to let off some steam….
Straight from Milano – Linate to Santa Margherita Ligure to spend a whole week at the sea side with my grandparents, uncle, Laura and my baby cosine Lara. They spent there whole summer holidays in a cute small apartment in Santa Margherita and I was lucky I managed to spend the last week with them there too.
It was a wonderful week! I got to spend some real quality time with my family, with some of the people I love the most in this world. I got to know my little baby cosine :) she is such a cute baby!!!! Always smiling and always in a good mood. I loved sharing that last week of summer holidays at the beach with them.
I had my little routine everyday (well for the short week I was there). Every morning at 7.30 I would joins my grandpa to his morning walks. The first day he took me to Portofino, the little coast town for the very VIP, the next we went to Rapallo,… once we arrived to our destination we would have breakfast: briosh, spremuta d’arancio e cappuccino :) oh so very Italian!
After the walk I would join my grandma to town to the market or to buy something for that days lunch, always involving some kind of shopping for me afterwards ;)
After lunch it was off to the beach with Laura and Franci to sunbath a little and around 5 they would pick up Lara and we could watch her happily playing in her little pool, she is a small fish, she loves the water. Man I love that little baby, she would let me carry her around, play around with her and she would never complain, so cute!
During the evening we would either have dinner at home or have dinner at some nice restaurant.
I really did enjoy my family time, there is nothing like family! Man have I missed them and has it been good being with them, filling up my energy tank, filling up my family love dose to last me a while till I can come back to see them again and I hope it won’t be as long as I predict.
Iʼm half way though my holidays now and once again they have gone by way too quick. My first stop: MEXICO. I hadnʼt been back in a very, very long time and at the start I had a very weird feeling, it took me a few days to realize I was actually there.
Mexico was my home for 5 years of my life, I have some of the best memories of my life there, I lived in a hotel were everyone was family, I went to a small school were I made my first childhood friends. Those years will ALWAYS have a very special spot in my heart.
Last time I was there was 2007 and now being back 2012 lots of thinks have changed, we have all grown up, we have all lived new and different experiences that have made us become who we are today. Mexico and all the Riviera Maya has changed even more and grown so much, the beaches are still beautiful, Mexico is still as amazingly welcoming, heart warming and charming as always.
I got to see my closest friends from when I lived there. The first week I stayed with Maria Jose and Myris, they lived with me at the Robinson the last year, we used to always run around and be up to no good at the hotel. The second week I stayed with my classroom friend Cassandra, in our years of school we were inseparable, we would spend every day, all day long together!
It was nice to spend time with all of them, be able to REALLY catch up on our lives since we hadnʼt seen each other in soooo long.
Mexico in some ways still felt like home but in some other ways I felt like a stranger, I felt a little bit distant and lost seeing all the changes. At times I had a bit of a frustrating feeling, confused at how I felt being back.
One of my best days there was when Ulla organized a small get together of a few ex- Robinsons right next to the beach of the hotel. I didnʼt stop laughing that day, I couldnʼt stop smiling at all the old stories they were telling me of when we all lived in the hotel, stories of my dad and my mum I never got to know but now they were revealed ;) stories I didnʼt remember because I was too small and stories that should never leave the Robinson grounds, …. It was a very entertaining day.
We managed to walk into the Robinson and that was very sad! the Robinson is totally abandoned and destroyed. Seeing what was my home for 5 wonderful years so let go and run down was sad. I have hundreds of memories from my years there, I wish other families and other little 5 year olds could grow up there and make new memories in that wonderful hotel but now itʼs just a ghost town. I guess Robinson Club Tulummmm only lives on in my memory now.
I want to thank Maria Jose, Myriam and there whole family, Cassandra, Gustavo, Adriana and Tania, thank you all for the great time in Mexico.
Next time I go I definitely want to go with my family, I want to go back with all of them remember all the old days.
On the 4th of August 2011, I packed my bags, took a few flights and I went to a new country far away from my family, my friends and leaving behind my comfort zone. I decided to go to a new country I had never been to an start a new adventure. Now after a year I can say I love living in Chile and I love Santiago. I have learned soooo much during this year. Time has past way too quick and it’s amazing to see how much I have lived in such a short time.
I feel like I have lived many new experiences, done many new things, learned so much in this new life experience. I made the right choice to come to Chile, I am happy of what it has thought me so far and I know the learning isn’t done yet.
I won’t lie, it hasn’t always been easy, there has been some really though moments, though decisions, lots of tears but you always learn something and I did. I got to know myself so much better, I have seen aspects of myself I didn’t know, some I like others not that much.
I have gotten to know a lot of new people, got to learn about other cultures, other life styles, …. I love the variety my life is surrounded with.
I am thankful to all the support, love and friendship I have received during this year.
Now it’s time to start a new year!
It’s time to start a new phase of my life once again. IM DONE WITH UNI FOREVER ! I can’t believe this semester is finally over and that I’m freeeeeeee. No more studying for a while at least, maybe a Master in a few years or so but now it’s time to have a taste of the “real” world, the “grown up” world, working and starting to be a little more independent.
BUT before all of that it’s time to TRAVEL !
Now I’m off to MEXICO :) After six years of not being back to my beautiful Mexico I’m going today and staying for about two weeks. I can’t wait to see my friends there, it’s been too long since I last saw them. All my oldest friends live there and it’s soooo exciting seeing them again after such a long time! I’m sure it will wake up a lot of old memories and old feelings. I cant wait :)
And after that I’m off to ITALY :) I’m going to get to meet my baby cosine and I’m going to see my grandparents, uncle, Laura and my friends. I’m soooooo happy I get to go and visit them before I start my internship, I really do miss them too much. I will be spending some quality time with all of them.
It’s time to recharge energies and come back to Santiago ready for a new beginning !
So once again it’s been ages since I last up dated my blog it’s from the combination of little time and being kind of lazy too. Even if I most admit I haven’t been up to much since my birthday.
I hate uni very day more and I’m counting the days till it ends like an inmate in his prison cell until he is free again. Yeah that’s how bad it got, I feel trapped in uni. I’m unhappy with my lessons, unhappy of the uni’s organization, just unhappy in general, I’m not enjoying it and it shouldn’t be this way. But now I really only have like two weeks left of this little personal hell and them I’m DONE this time FOREVER with university life. Maybe in some time, some day, I will do a Masters but for now I’m giving studying a rest and I’m going to start to WORK. Crazy if you ask me but I’m still really looking forward to start my internship.
My life apart from uni? All good. I still love living in Santiago, I still enjoying hanging out with my friends and my boyfriend. I like this city, I like my social life and I like all the many things I still have left to discover and see, so in that aspect I’m not bored at all.
At this point of my life I am in a sort of transition that at times gives me anxiety attacks and makes me feel lost, alone and disoriented.
I’m about to finish university, which means I’m a step closer to being independent and self-sufficient and now it’s the time to start deciding what I’m going to do after my internship where I want to start my independent, grown up life. No more speculations and ideas of a hundred different plans, now it’s the time to really decide.
I have already made my choice and it’s Chile. At this moment in time I know that I would like to stay at least all of 2013 living here too, it’s my plan A and to say the truth I don’t really have a plan B at this moment, Europe so doesn’t seem like an option, there is no work for the people that are already there how am I going to find something? I guess that if everything goes wrong and I don’t get my visa here in Chile I would go to Egypt, work at the Robinson but some how reflecting back to an older post where I wrote how I had hundreds of plans and how I didn’t know which one to take, now I feel there is only one for me and it’s the one of staying in Santiago.
Ok so my choice has been made and I’m convinced of it but when I get my anxiety attacks it’s because I realize that I have decided to build my life so far away from my family and that I miss them like hell and I can’t avoid having days where I feel too alone, where I just cry because I miss them, they are my strongest support system and having them so far away is HARD. I’m not always that strong and I still feel like at times I need my mummy and my daddy. It’s hard to realize that now I really am slowly breaking my bond from them and it’s freaky, I still feel 15 no way I’m 22 and finish university for good. I know I can do it and that I will survive but still at times it feels a little hard and a new challenge for me.
So as inside at times I’m still a little baby and I need my family my mummy is letting me go to Milan during my holidays before starting my internship. I’m still going to Mexico to go and see all my friends but I’m going for a little less and just to Playa del Carmen and from there I’m off to Milan for about two weeks to be able to spend some quality time with nonna, nonno, Franci, Laura and little baby Lara. I’m going to get to know my baby cosine earlier than I had expected and I love that. And of course I’m going to be able to see all my friends there too! To say the truth I really can’t wait :) I’m going to make the most of every second I have there! I need to see them, I need to be with them. The good thing is that then I’m back in Santiago and in no time Mich will be living with me and mum and dad are coming over to celebrate there birthday here with us, my mum’s big 5 0, so cool, I can’t wait. So I will have a full family immersion for a few months which will also help me in my transition. I like the fact that my parents will be over and see the country I have decided to stay in, get to know my life here and who I have become thanks to this city.
So yes I’m stepping into the phase of transition, wish me luck ;)
I can’t believe how fast this year has gone by… Only a year ago I was in Mallorca for my birthday with my thesis group, working on one of the biggest projects of my life and having one of the best experiences of my life. Now Im on the other side of the world, in a new amazing city, that has become my hometown and where I have made new incredible friends that made my birthday special and unforgettable.
My birthday was a saturday this year so I sort of got to celebrate all the weekend :) and I was totally spoiled by everyone !
On friday I celebrated with my adoptive family, the Alvos. I went over for shabat and at the same time we celebrated my birthday. I got such nice presents from them and I even got a cake with candles and they sang happy birthday. I had such a lovely evening with them, they really do feel like family and they make me feel like part of it too. I am really grateful of having them in my life.
After shabat on friday I got to celebrate into my birthday with my boyfriend and some of his friends and we ended up going to sleep at like 5.30 so it was a good start to my birthday.
Saturday morning was a busy skype morning. First with my parents, then my uncle, Laura and little baby Lara looking as cute as every and then nonna and nonno. This year it’s the first time in my life that I celebrate my birthday without any member of my family present. All my previous birthday I have celebrate with either my parents, brother, uncle or grandparents. This time round it has the first time I only got to see them though skype.
On saturday I was invited for lunch to Gonzalo’s families house and I got my second cake with candles and happy birthday sang to me. They spoiled me too ! For the rest of the day I slept and just chilled, trying to regain energy for the night.
On saturday night it was time to celebrate with all my new friends in Chile. We went to a bar called Teclados. Many of my friends managed to come over and I got to celebrate with them my birthday. I had a great time and it was nice seeing how many new friends I have in my life since my last birthday. It made me happy seeing how many people were there to celebrate my birthday with me and it’s so nice to have all your friends in the same place.
I had an incredible time !
I want to thank everyone that sent me birthday wished on facebook, that called me or sent me an e mail. Thank you all for making me feel loved.
I also want to thank all the people that were there to celebrate my birthday, that spoiled me and made me feel so loved and special. It was a great, great birthday :) :) :)
Today I lived a new experience in Santiago, something that allowed me to first fight one of my fears and second get to know the city and the people of my new country better.
My photography lesson today was in the center of Santiago in Paseo Ahumada. We had a field day instead of being in a boring classroom, it sounded very fun and different. BUT I freaked out when our teacher told us that our assignment for the day was to walk around with a white cardboard and our camera and ask people to take a portrait of them (Why the white cardboard?! To use as out background).
Me talking to random strangers and asking them to take a picture of them ?
mmhhh SO NOT WHO I AM !!!
Luckily the other girl in my group is really open and wasn’t shy at all to ask everyone she saw if we could take a picture of them. And you know what surprised me the most ?! That from the 25 people we asked only 3 said no. Im so not used to this kind of kindness and easiness at helping others. In Milan if I would have asked anyone to take a picture of them they would have ran as fast as they could the other direction.
Seeing that people where so kind and friendly I lost my fear to ask too and I even started chatting to the people we took the photo too and got to know them better. I was fun, I laughed a lot and got to know a lot of different people.
The center of Santiago is so full of life, so full of diverse people and a lively atmosphere. I most admit that the little posh girl I am I don’t go much to that area because it’s not the safest, but still I should start wondering more the street of my new home town and not only stay in my safe zone and my fancy area.
It so nice to discover this new sides of Santiago and from chilean people. And there is sitll no much to discover …
Can someone tell me how I distinguish real gold from something that just is shiny ?
I seem to be so good at picking up that shiny object and be sure that it’s gold. I keep it very close to me, I show it off to everyone, I tell them how lucky I am cause I found this little piece of gold and it’s all mine. I am convinced that this time I found it really, that I really found a piece of gold and that it’s for me, that I deserve it now. From that day on I walk around with a big, big smile and nothing can bring me down, I feel at the top of the world because of my little piece of gold.
But then one day I look a little closer to my little piece of gold and I realize a bit of the gold has chipped off. But I dismiss it, nothing to worry about just a tiny bit of it has chipped off, after all nothing is perfect, it has to have it’s little defect, that way it is more special.
As the days go by always more pieces of gold start to chip off, until one day Im only left with a rock in my hand. Once again I have been fooled, once again I have been played with, once again I am hurt. What I once thought was mine, I realize it never really was. It wasn’t gold after all, it just was a rock that had disguised itself with a gold coating to be all shiny and nice, so to get my attention and once it had it just play around with my happiness and my stability.
Now Im left with a rock, a broken heart and disappointed. Not what I had expected.
Now what ? Am I suppose to go out there and look for a new piece of gold ? Hope that some day I will really find a piece of gold and not just a shiny rock ? Or should I just stay away from everything that shines ? Should I just give up and keep my rocks as reminder of what I have gone through as not to repeat it any more ?
I don’t know what the right answer is or what I should do. What I can say is that I have learned that not everything is what it appears to be at first, not everything that shines is gold.
Once in a while we have to stop and think things over. Observe our surrounding, understand how the changes that have happened around us affects our life and our stability and how we have to change to adapt to the changes.
It’s so important to take a moment for yourself and really think things over, it’s the only way we can truly understand how we really feel and how we are doing. But with the life style we have now a days we always have less of that meditation moments, we are so busy doing so many things we forget about ourselves.
Don’t ever forget yourself! You have to take care of yourselves as much as you take care of others and sometimes we neglect that and just forget it.
If you forget to take care of yourself and you don’t listen to your body, heart and mind you will get to a point were things will get bad and the solution to your issues will be harder than if you would have observed and stopped an thought about everything before that.
Recognize the signs when they start manifesting and don’t let them get worse. React straight away and find the solution before it gets too bad.
If you don’t like your job, quite and find a better one, if you don’t like what you are studying, change or find a way to survive the time left you have in uni, if you don’t like the country you are living in, pack your bags and leave, … just don’t keep that bad feeling inside, it will slowly start eating you up and take away all your shine and happiness.
I for example have realized that I was going back to an old pattern of mine that I had learned to get away from and deal with, and because I haven’t been paying attention to how I was really doing I was falling right back to it, now i have realized and I can once again take hold of the situation and find the way out of this bad habit of mine. From now on I won’t let the world take hold of me like that without me being in control and realizing what exactly is going on inside of me.
So every single one of us needs to stop and think once in a while. Take a morning or an afternoon for YOU and just YOU, don’t do anything in particular and just look back to how you have been going and see if you really are at peace and happy with yourself and if you aren’t 100% there, then fight hard to get to it.
It was mother’s day yesterday a special day to celebrate all the great mothers out there but really it should be mother’s day and father’s day everyday. How much do the do for us ? I think only one day a year to celebrate all they do for us isn’t enough !!!!! I at least know for sure that only one day to celebrate my amazing mother isn’t enough at all.
I love my mother more than anything in this world, I love the relationship I have with here, I love the person she is and I admire her so much, I hope that some day I can at least be half the amazing woman she is.
I am thankful for her love, her compassion, her trust, her wise words, her protective arms, for always and I mean ALWAYS being there for me ! She is my friend, I can talk to her about anything without being judged or frowned upon. She lets me cry my eyes out to her and then she knows exactly what to say to make me feel better, to make me feel loved and cared for.
At times I feel so alone without her by my side, I really am grateful for skype, that way I can talk to her often and at least feel a tinny bit closer to her.
All I really want to say is that I love my mum, Im so happy I have her as my mum, friend and confident, I am proud of being her daughter.
If you could choose a super natural power which one would it be ?
Me ?! I want to be able to read people’s minds and make people read mine when necessary.
I have always been very curious of what happens up in peoples head, what goes on in their brain. It has been my little secret desire since I was small. You might wonder why ? Because we are COMPLICATED. We don’t always mean what we say, some things we say have a double meaning, we sometimes hide what we really want to say, …
It’s hard to have someone talk straight and real all the time. So it would be much easier to just read people’s mind and just know what really is going on in their life and their mood.
I know Im a person that sometimes finds it hard to express herself. Im not good at confrontations or speaking about my feelings or what is wrong with me. That are the moments where I wish my friends and family could read my mind and that way find out whats my problem and know how to handle it. Just like when I notice something is wrong with someone I care for and all they say is that they are “ok” when you can sooo tell it’s not true.
I also realize that not everything would be good … there are things that aren’t said because they could hurt someone a lot, they are better kept in our head, so who says I wouldn’t hear things that maybe, just maybe I was better off not knowing. And who am I to get into peoples head ?
Maybe the closest thing with which someone could get to understanding people better would be by studying phycology. That way maybe I would understand the people that surround me better, I would be able to know myself better too.
I guess what Im trying to say is that sometimes I frustrate at my confusion on people’s way of being and not understanding what the hell really is going on. I wish they could understand me better too, at times I feel misunderstood. I don’t know if Im the complicated one, maybe Im just weird or if we are all meant to feel so confused at times too.
“I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You’d never know it, but there’s most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you’re feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren’t as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should’ve handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren’t as good as you thought you were. Eitherway,when you hit that low point,you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity…Or you can suck it up. It’s your call.”—J.D.
It’s been absolutely ages since I have written a good up date on my life and what I have been up to. Man I have missed my blog! I have to get into the hang of writing again.
So it’s been two months now since Im back in Santiago and wow how much has happened in this very short time! I can’t believe we are already in May!!!! I really am amazed at how quick time goes by, I feel like I am just back from my summer holidays and at the same time I miss everyone like crazy like I haven’t seen them for ages.
One of the reasons I have been so disappeared has been because I have had a little depressive phase quite at the beginning of when I got back to Santiago. I started missing my family too much, I just wanted to be back with my mum and dad, I just couldn’t get used to the idea of thinking that I won’t see my parents for eight months, it’s too long and really it will be one of the hardest things I have to do in my life. I just wish I could be back with my parents and brother! I miss them and I really miss a family life. Here I have lots of people that make me feel part of their family but I still sometimes just want MINE.
I have been back in uni for a while now and to be honest I have had lot’s of ups and downs, there are weeks where I hate uni and I can’t wait for it to be over and other weeks where it’s not that bad and I even manage to enjoy it. I have had very mixed feels in that aspect, I think Im ready to finish studying now and to start the next phase of my life, I know I will freak out big time when Im done with uni and I will enter the working world but it will be a good change. Especially because I already know where I will be doing my internship :) :) :) I will be doing it at Marco’s agency The Cow, he and his family are my official adoptive family here in Chile. I know I will learn a lot from Marco’s so Im really looking forward to working with him even if it will be weird seeing him as my boss :P. Im really looking forward to that :) But for now I got to hold strong with uni. I will finish in July and then in September I will start my internship so really I only got 3 months left of uni.
During the month of August I will be going to Mexico to visit all my friends there. I still got to organize who Im going to visit and when but I already got my flight :) and I can’t wait to be back after so long. I haven’t been back in six years and I really do miss my friends there and I so want to go and visit them all, have some quality time with my them and visit my old home and my old school and my old life there, it always bring back such great memories when Im back there with my oldest friends of my life. It will also be an amazing get away from the cold of Santiago because in August it’s freezing here, so whilst everyone is freezing I will be at the beach and partying coming back all nice and tanned ;) not a bad plan right?
My trip to Mexico has been one of the reasons why I have cheered up but there has been a few other reasons:
My brother is most probably coming to Santiago for his internship!!!!!! That has made me so very happy :) I just can’t wait for him to come! He would be over from October to March and he would do his internship at the W Hotel in Santiago, it’s one of the most top and most in hotel of the moment, so it will be a great experience for him. What makes it even better is that it would mean we will live together and we will have the chance to have some good quality brother - sister time :) It won’t be easy, I can’t fool myself but I still think it will be incredible to have him over, he will like it here :)!
On top of that what makes it even better is that my parents will be coming over during the end of October / beginning of November to celebrate their birthday here and my mum’s big 5 0! So the four Meyers that currently are living in three different continents will be together in one and not only that but in the same country and city. I think nothing can make me happier than the four of us together. I will so make the most of every second of having my family over in my new home town :)
One of the other reasons why everything is good again and I have managed to stop seeing everything just from the bad side is because I have a special person in my life. Having someone there that manages to cheer you up just by being present, that makes you feel safe and happy all the time is amazing. He is such a special person, that just knows how to make we laugh, with whom I have fun doing just about anything and that has managed to make me miss my family a bit less.
So after an extremely long time of no up dates I think I have written enough for a while :) I promise I will be more constant as from now on.
This weekend my baby cosine was born :) Im so happy for my uncle and Laura, I know they will be amazing parents and take great care of baby Lara. I have already been sent pictures and she is such a cute baby, I must say that from the pictures I find she looks a lot like my uncle, a mini Franci.
It’s so beautiful when a baby is born, when new life enters this world, it brings a great feeling of joy and happiness. I think non of us that has actually had a baby can understand the joy and bliss Franci and Laura are living this days, I think it’s totally over any level of happiness we can feel with anything else in this world.
I hope some day I get to feel that too, definitely not any time soon, I think there is a time for everything in life. Right now I have to enjoy my freedom and not having anyone’s life as my responsibility, Im still a little girl, how could I take good care of a baby ? Nope I better wait, first get married and after that have my own kids.
For now Im going to enjoy my baby cosine, I will make sure to spoil her and be the best cosine around. I can’t wait to meet Lara and it makes me very sad not being there right now and that it will take a while before I really get the chance to meet her. I won’t be able to see her grown day by day and I will have to be documented via mail and photos but I’ll make sure hat every time we are together I will make the most of it !
Lara welcome to our world :) Never forget that your cosine in South America loves you very much.
"Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd."
- Bertrand Russell
behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone or something.
strength of emotion or an unpleasant or destructive natural force : the violence of her own feelings.
not tolerant of others’ views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one’s own :
he was intolerant of ignorance.
It’s sad to think there is still so much violence and intolerance in our world today and Im even more surprised when it comes from the younger generations like mine. We are suppose to be growing with a different view, a different way of relating to life, to the world and others… but I guess thats just who I am, thats how I have been brought up and how I have chosen to be, other people still don’t want to uncover their eyes and see the beauty of diversity instead they are scared of it there for hate it.
Behind every my post there is a reason why I get inspired to talk about the chosen subject and now I wanted to talk about violence and intolerance because I have seen too much of it lately and it saddens me to see that in some ways we humans just don’t know how to develop and move on and get better.
A few weeks ago something absolutely horrible happened here in Chile and they haven’t stopped talking about it especially this week and it got me think a lot and shocked me to see how little we have evolved.
On the 3rd of March a young 24 year old guy got beat up and tortured by five guys in the ages between 19 and 26 and the reason why: He was gay. Daniel Zamudio was beaten for an hour and among all the horrible things they did to him they burned him with cigarettes and carved the Nazi symbol in his body. He was so badly tortured he lay brain dead for 25 days and died last tuesday. He was so beaten up his organs weren’t even in the condition to be donated. How can this kind of things still happen ? Why can’t be accept that each and everyone of us is different and that really thats wonderful, diversity is what makes our life so nice and our world so special but no there is still people that are afraid of the different. Do I have to ask permission to be a lesbian, to be gay, to be Muslim, to be Jew, to be Buddhist, to be fat, to be skinny ?!?! I don’t think so, Im Mimi and who I am is beyond my sexual preference, my religion or my physical aspect. If you like me it’s because you like who I am and if you don’t well them I’m very sorry but I’m not going to change to please you, so what about you just let me get on with my life the same way I let you get on with yours… doesn’t that just sound like the fair thing to do ? By the looks of it some people still think that they have the power to decide what is right and wrong…
This horrible act of discrimination towards Daniel has scandalized all of Chile and many chilean people are requesting for a law anti-discrimination (until now there hasn’t been one in Chile), I think it’s so over due and they shouldn’t wait any longer but like always the government and the people had to be shaken by such a horrible event to get a move on and do something about it.
But really you know what should be done in my opinion ?! School and universities have to be the first to educate the younger generation how to be curious of what is different from us and not repeal it. The first step is for parents to show their children that the world is beautiful because we are all different and that from everyone we can learn something. Let’s start changing the way of educating the small ones so they can grow up better than us!
"Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival."
At the beginning of this semester I was so not looking forward to going back to uni and starting lessons again, I was getting depressed of having to go back to lessons and back to real life after such an amazing summer holiday!
Now it’s been two weeks since Im back in uni and to say the truth it hasn’t been bad at all.
I managed to chose some amazing subjects and I really enjoy them and I think I will have fun this semester.
Last semester wasn’t so good, I didn’t like most of my lessons, I found it hard to get used to the different uni system, get used to studying in spanish and the people in my classes weren’t so nice.
This 2012 will be so much better. The subjects I chose are :
Metricas de la Comunicacion
Investigacion de Recursos Creativos
Most of them are very practical and more creative than I have ever had before, for example two things I have to do during next week are; one a self-portrait that represents who I am or what Im living this moment in time in my life with a photograph and the second one is a video of one minute of whatever I want. Both projects are really fun and creative. Most of my teachers are young and seem pretty fun and relaxed, the people in my class seem nicer and in most of them I already know some of the people that I got along last semester. So now having to go to uni isn’t much for a torture :)
It’s also once again my last semester of uni and this time for real, no postponing entering the working world anymore. As from july, Im out in the world looking for work like every there “adult”. First an internship till december and then it slowly will become time to become more independent and start earning my own money…
BUT before that … Im off to Mexico for the hole month of August, going to visit my friends in Playa del Carmen and Cancun that I haven’t seen in about six years now and to say the truth that been too long and after that DF and Queretaroo and go and visit my italian family that is from there ;) Ricky and Fadi. It would be a pretty amazing trip and a great finish to uni and time to regain energies before work ;) I really can’t complain !!!
I hope you all know who Im talking about and incase you don’t please check him out on youtube !!!
I had the great honor to go to his concert on sunday and I don’t have words to describe how breathtaking it was, how amazing, astonishing, astounding, surprising, stunning, awesome, awe-inspiring, sensational, remarkable, spectacular, stupendous, phenomenal, extraordinary, incredible, unbelievable, mind-blowing, jaw-dropping it was.
I haven’t been to many concerts in my life so I don’t have many to compare it to but I don’t need a long list of concerts to compare to this one, to know it was probably one of the best I will ever see.
I have seen String, Christina Aguilera, Wisin & Yandel and Shakira in concert and they all have been good in their own different way. They were great concerts where I had a great time but Michael Bublé wasn’t a concert it was a SHOW.
He is an impeccable showman, not only a great singer with an amazing voice sometimes called the Sinatra of our times but an amazing entertainer! During the concert I didn’t stop laughing and I couldn’t stop admiring his unique voice and beautiful songs.
Michael didn’t stop joking with all of us, he felt so near to the whole audience, I felt like I knew him and he was joking around with me like if we were friends. I will never be able to transmit to you just how amazing it was, what a great experience it is to assist to one of his concerts. Michael on stage with 13 band players managed to entertain us from the beginning to the end, sometimes you would forget everyone else. He alone manage to make the show run, he filled the entire stage with his charisma and great humor.
All I can say to you guy is that you ever have the chance please go and see him in concert. You won’t regret it :)
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – Work – Family – Health – Friends – Spirit, and you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”